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10 novembre IfIf I were Merrick I'd sleep. Instead of banging my head against the crib rail for an hour at naptime, I'd pass out. And I'd be ready to go to bed again at 7:00 p.m. seeing as how I would spend my days running around the house at the speed of sound, taking no less than 12 massive dumps, and screaming bloody murder whenever the mood struck me.
 And if I were Mia, I wouldn't need an elaborate bedtime ritual involving a bubble bath, 3 library books, 2 made-up stories, 2 good-dream wishes blown into each ear, and a 20-minute secret handshake--followed by a temper-tantrum that ends with both child and parents in tears.
If I were Cheyenne, I'd lose the eternal scowl, and I pull my hair back out of my face, and I'd love my life since all I'd have to do is make good grades and have my own cell phone.
If I were the weather I'd stay just like I am now; cool, breezy, and sunny and cloudy at the same time--makes for some beautiful fall days.
And if I were my husband I wouldn't make my wife go to the store at 9:30 at night to pick me up some grody dip. And if I were me, I'd congratulate myself on buying 10 hardcover books on the cheap from the library. I'd try to remember to throw that rotting jack-o-lantern away once and for all, and I'd laugh at the dogs when they get sick from eating too much moldy pumpkin. I'd wash my hair. I'd wash my car. I'd get off this computer and get to work sewing some more kickass donuts out of felt. How genius am I? 
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