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March 30 The Calm AFTER the Storm Today I almost lost my life to a tornado...because the fear of it almost killed me. We were under severe thunderstorm warnings and tornado watches all day long--and the news broadcasted right here in my tiny little town...
I won't go into how freakin' scared I was...just know that I am alive and well and all of that bad weather left us with a gorgeous sunset a few minutes ago...I took pictures (see "new photos") that don't come close to how beautiful it actually was--Cheyenne described it as looking up at the floor of heaven. I couldn't have said it better myself. March 29 My Girl CardTired. Lonely. Bored. Writing. Here.
Things That Could Get My Girl Card Revoked:
Things That Will Get My Girl Card Re-instated:
One of Many Tortured Souls... I realized the strangest thing today: all 3 of my bloggy-friends are in serious funks here lately...and so am I. I don't know what brought it on, or why I'm still in it, but I just can't shake it. So, reading about everyone else's trials and tribulations made me realize that I'M NORMAL! Ha! And all this time, I felt like the defective robot in the Toy Store of God.
Caleb, being the sweet and wonderful husband that he is, has been very patient with me and my moodiness, my forgetfulness, my serious distractability...and made the suggestion that I should be "arting" (my word for painting/drawing/making a mess in general) more often, and instead of being upset about the $100 Michael's excursion, he was impressed that I didn't spend more!
It is so comforting to have a husband who truly understands me even more than I understand myself. It's something to remember when I'm going through these things and taking all my rage and frustrations out on him...
Anyhow, today, after I put Mia down for a nap, I decided to do some painting...I got everything out--set up and in place, got my mind right--nice and tormented--and WAAAHHH!!! I just started sobbing, right there in front of my paper...Normally I let it all out through the artwork, but I didn't even make it to that point. As soon as I wiped the snot off my face with my shirt and took a deep breath, Mia started crying, awake from her (very short) nap.
Ah, well. Looks like I will be downing some coffee tonight so I can try to get a little painting done. I've got so many ideas that will go away if I don't get them down soon, and I have to have something to show for all the money Caleb let me spend. March 28 One Look Says it All Well, my little trip to the torture chamber turned out to be fairly uneventful this time around...I will have to wait out the week in suspense for test results that will tell me if I'm freaking dying or not. (Did I mention how over-dramatic I can be?)
I came home with babies on the brain and decided to bust out some old-school baby pictures of myself and my kids...and made a horrific discovery. I had to stare long and hard, but I realized that in several, several pictures of me at 1 to 2 years of age, that I WAS POOPING. Now, as a mother, I recognize that look anywhere--I know when a kid is taking a major dump. What a cruel joke my parents played on me! Did they get out the camera just for the event? Did they chuckle evilly as they were snapping away?
I used to look at my baby pictures with pride...now, there is only shame. As I said in a previous post, TRUST NO ONE...  March 27 On Another Note... I forgot to mention that I was given permission to pick up some art supplies on my outing...and that I took that permission and RAN with it. I don't know if Caleb will fully appreciate everything I got, but I'm totally excited...and I can't wait to get started on all of the wonderfully psychotic masterpieces I have floating around in my head.
I've got a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I'm totally nervous about it. I just have this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that it won't be good. Maybe it's just nerves and the fact that I hate hospitals, and doctors, and needles...but I can't handle another round of this crap, I just can't. I had a talk with Caleb last night and it calmed me down a little. Now the only thing I really have to worry about is getting a damn shower and shaving my legs sometime between now and then. A Tale of Two Greaseballs I've always said that no matter how hectic my day gets, or how tired I am, that I would take the time to make myself look presentable everytime I go somewhere...and it's a nice thought, but for anyone who has a toddler as demanding and as active as mine, it's not at all practical.
Today I was dying to get out of the house but knew that if I wanted to do so before 5:00 in the afternoon, I would have to cut some corners. So, against my better judgement, I went to the mall in a very...natural state.
Yeah, that's right. I walked right past the shower, slipped on a holey, faded-out pair of jeans, kept on the same sweater I slept in, stuck my dirty feet with the chipped toe-nail polish into some dime-store flip flops, and pulled my greasy, ratty hair into a sloppy ponytail. The only make-up I had on was smudged eye-liner left over from last night...and I think I even forgot to brush my teeth.
So while I slump around the mall looking like I just climbed out of the pits of hell, Mia could've passed for a little paegant queen. Honestly, the child looked like she stepped right out of a magazine...beautiful curls done up perfectly in a fancy ribbon, cute little outfit to match, clean face, rosy cheeks. I'm sure people thought I had kidnapped her from loving parents who actually bathed.
She wasn't completely perfect, I guess. I noticed once we had been shopping for sometime that she was wearing the very same jacket that she had previously stuffed a PB&J sandwich in the pockets a week earlier...guess I forgot to wash it? AUG. I've got to be the world's biggest slacker mom.
A man approached me in the parking lot, catching me completely off guard and scaring the bejesus out of me. I was trying to get Mia in the car and he came right up behind me, claimed to be a "photographer" and asked if I had ever done any modeling...FREAKING CREEPY. He looked to be about middle aged, and was as sloppily dressed as I was. Something was very wrong with the man--he kept glancing all around and walked away a little too quickly when mall security drove by in their little SUV...I was not the least bit fooled, but I politely told him no and got into my car as fast as I could...fully prepared to stab him in the neck with my keys.
I mean, geez. Do people really fall for that? Did I look that stupid? Or did I look trashy enough that even if I saw right through it that I would meet him anyway? And for the love of God, I had my baby with me! Honestly. People just scare the hell out of me these days. Neighbors, strangers...trust no one. It's horrible. March 26 The Shaggy Dog No, not the movie...the dog. My dog. Shadow is so FREAKING HAIRY. Today Caleb and I spent a combined 3 hours brushing her, cutting her hair, bathing her, drying her, and brushing her again. But the results were worth it--if there was a dog version of "Make-over Story", I'd send in a video of everything that went down today. Shadow looks and feels like a million bucks.
I've still got to go and clean the hell out of the bathroom, where all the action took place. There's enough long golden hair in there to make another dog, or at least a beautiful wig. To be honest, that's the way the whole house is...even though I vacuum, dust and sweep every other day (that's not an exaggeration)...I just can't seem to get it all.
Yesterday we got a lot done; I made a fantabulous breakfast for Caleb and the girls. We did a lot of yard work--we're finally starting to see a significant amount of green grass out there. A pretty uneventful day...which was wonderful, since my feeble mind can't handle anything but.
Cheyenne had softball practice. She's got to get more aggressive. It was KILLING me to watch her out there...me, a total softball freak at that age, watching my own daughter, dazed and confused in the outfield, scared of the ball when she was up to bat...UG! I know I shouldn't get aggrivated, and as far as she knows, I'm not...it's so hard, but when practice is over, I smile sweetly and say "GREAT JOB! GOOD TRY!" when what I really want to do is give her about 5000 pointers and ask her what the hell was she thinking at oh, ANY GIVEN POINT DURING PRACTICE? AAAARRRRGGGG! March 24 Drunk in public I did not know you can be arrested for being DRUNK in a bar...how dare someone? Apparently they are cracking down on this in the state of Texas. Wild. Thoughts in No Particular Order I feel like I have a million things to get done today when in actuality I have to do nothing at all. It's a weird feeling. Here's another fabulous list of the things I am thinking about:
March 22 Avoiding Sleep I've really got to start concentrating on writing these books I'm supposed to be writing. Maybe that means taking a break from blogging...it seems to suck up all my creativity and brain power, so that when I'm done writing on the computer, I'm done for the day.
Yesterday I got a lot done. Bills paid, laundry done, kitchen clean, TV fixed (go me!) and floor mopped. I took Cheyenne to this eye clinic here in town to get her glasses fixed, and also to see if we liked them enough to switch from our eye doctor in the city, who I hate. Well, the staff was great and very helpful and friendly and polite, and the doctor was hot...so I guess that place is a go! Sweet!
Mia spent the evening yelling at Cheyenne to "Sit!" after which she would say "BAD!" I suppose I use those words more during the day than I thought.
Cheyenne has been assigned to do the next girl scout meeting--she has to come up with an activity or craft, and bring the snacks. So the past couple days she has been jotting down ideas, looking through her girl scout book...she's really into this. Problem is, the activity she wants to do calls for some serious supplies--possibly calling for me to spend more money than I'd like to spend on something like this. I already dropped $30 for softball shirts for me and Caleb--why can't we just wear team colors at the games? Why are kids activities so stinkin costly? My mom must've spent $1000 a month with all 3 of us growing up! Geez Louise!
Lately I have this thing about going to sleep. I don't want to do it. Not without Caleb. I just lay in bed, listening...I hate it. I'll draw, I'll watch TV, I'll surf the net, I'll read books that I haven't read in ages...Last night I watched The Shield until 10:30, and then immediately popped Scarface into the VCR since I knew it was a long movie, and watched it in its entirerity...when I started to drift off on the couch, I drew to keep me awake. I finally went to bed at 3:00 or so, but only because I knew I was too sleepy to be scared. What is wrong with me? I'm such a scaredy-pansy-baby. I guess having an active imagination is a bad thing when you're home alone at night. Ug. Looks like I'll have to get back on coffee full time again. March 21 A Fire-Loving State I got like, 2 minutes before the season finale of The Shield comes on, and Vic Mackey kicks the bad guy's ass once and for all.
I miss Caleb. He'll be home tomorrow.
And what is with the fires today?
Did the people of Oklahoma sit on pins and needles, lighters and kerosine in hand, waiting for the governor to lift the burn ban? Honestly, everyone in my neighborhood must've run off to their backyards 3 seconds after the announcement, chanting "Fire! Fire! Huh..heh heh. Fire!" and torching everything in sight.
I find this insane given the strong winds we've had today. I swear, I'll sue a pyro-maniac if my home burns down because he just had to get rid of an unwanted pile of leaves. "I'll fight a Indian, okay? I DANCE with wolves, okay?" Shaking with Exhaustion I'm so over the spring weather of Oklahoma. Yesterday we started off with a beautiful sunny cloudless sky, followed by a light drizzle mid-morning, a fast-moving severe thunderstorm accompanied by various tornado watches and warnings all afternoon through mid-evening, and topped off with a forecast for snow and high winds last night....What kind of place IS this?
I, scared to death of course, drank a pot of coffee trying to keep myself awake just incase a tornado did decide to pop up without warning and I had to throw the kids, dogs, and myself into an interior closet. We really got some wicked wind--the sheer strength of it reminded me of all the hurricanes we had down in Florida.
The coffee worked. I was up and out of bed until 1:00 before I decided to try and lay down. After that I tossed and turned for 4 more hours. And now here I am at 6:30, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and ready to take on the world...or maybe just the living room.
Yeah, I am TIRED. And from the looks of all these storm clouds, there will be no rest for the weary. I must bravely soldier on and keep an eye on the weather, so that I will KNOW when that tornado comes to take me away. I can at least say a little prayer before I pee my pants and die of fright. Add "TORNADOS" to the list of things I fear most in life. I don't know how I could've forgotten them. Geez, I wish Caleb were here. March 20 Baffled by a 1-Year-Old...
March 19 More Licking, Screaming, and Hard-headed Dogs People of the world: DO NOT GET A DOG. JUST DON'T.
My dogs have been going absolutely bonkers the past two days. Something about it raining nonstop seems to really drive them insane...makes them...do things, things they wouldn't normally do. I am blown away by Darcy's absolute resistance to go outside. I suppose she doesn't want to get her pretty little feet wet in the "lake" that is our backyard. She gives Labs everywhere a bad name with her fear of water. I figured when she couldn't hold it any longer she would break down, slink outside, do her business, and slink back, but no. Darcy chose a nice comfy spot by the front door to take a monster dump.
Smokey, for the most part, is a brave little soul. He marches right through the puddles to higher ground to do what he has to do. He's had a couple accidents today, though I have to say they were most likely my fault. I probably ignored his repeated requests to go outside, since it involved getting out of my cozy blanket and off of the couch.
This dreary weather has got me soooo down. I haven't wanted to do much of anything. I've defined the word "slacker" today--Caleb cleaned the kitchen, Caleb did the laundry, Caleb took care of Mia...all before he had to take off to Tulsa this afternoon. I felt so awful and guilty, watching him. But I didn't let that stop me from being lazy. I've got serious will power when it comes down to my veg time.
The day wasn't a total waste. I did cook breakfast--a zillion pancakes, 4 eggs, and 1 sliced-up orange--for everyone before I came crashing down, and I managed to take a shower AND blow-dry my hair while Mia took a nap. And to cheer us up when Caleb left, the girls and I whipped up a couple dozen oatmeal-raisin cookies.
Cheyenne taught Mia the fine art of licking beaters, and after that, nothing was safe. Mia was on a roll. She kept us entertained by licking the oven window, pointing at the cookies, screaming something that I'm sure in her world meant "HURRY UP!" I think she got more enjoyment out of screaming than she did actually eating the cookies.
When she wasn't making our ears bleed with her impossibly high-pitched shrieks, she ran around the house giggling to herself, tortured the dogs, and trashed her room. I don't think I could cut it as a toddler--they lead such busy lives. So much to do, so little time. Does running on their tippy-toes make them go faster or something?
I would tend to think so, seeing as how Mia runs faster than me these days. We made it to the Omniplex in Oklahoma City yesterday, and spent most of the time chasing after her. Caleb and I always knew she would be a handful, but we got proof of just how "independent" she is within the first 10 minutes of being there.
It was so fun to see how excited she got taking it all in...her eyes wide, her little finger pointing at everything she walked by...and it's funny what attracts little kids. The black curtain that closes off a section of the museum, the colored flags on the edge of an exhibit, a piece of trash on the floor--WOW! This is such a great age. Mia is seeing so much for the first time ever, and she is so fascinated by all of it.
Cheyenne had a pretty good time, I think. Her main goal of the trip was to buy something, anything I think, from the gift shop. Thankfully she saw that it was full of over-priced junk and passed up the opportunity. We all ate at the museum cafe and all got a serious case of indigestion afterwards. It was the perfect end to the perfect outing. March 17 This is Me Apologizing. Well, I feel like a total and complete schmuck for whining the way I did yesterday about the whole pregnancy issue. I was just a little bummed out, that's all. I should be incredibly thankful for all that I have. Instead, I picked out the one thing I don't have (actually, I do have--2!) and started complaining. Sorry...especially to the folks that don't and can't have children.
Today I am still on a cleaning spree, only I'm more organizing than anything. We have so much useless junk it's ridiculous. I can't stand clutter--even if it's neatly tucked away in the attic. I feel the need to just GET RID OF IT ALL--the clothes that don't fit, the knick-knacks, the left-over christmas wrapping paper...mostly things that any ordinary person would want to save and use later! What is wrong with me? I compulsively throw things away--I've even been guilty of tossing important letters or bills in the trash in order to clear off a surface. It's not easy living with packrats like Caleb and Cheyenne.
I've been sleeping like a log the past 2 nights since Caleb's been home. Last night we went to bed at 9:00 because I had a stomach ache, and I swear I didn't wake up once until 6:00 a.m. to let the dogs out. I think Smokey has finally overcome his bladder control problem!
I laid back down hoping to catch about 30 more minutes of sleep but ended up playing Whack-A-Mole with the younger dogs--they jump up and put their paws and noses on the side of the bed, and I try to swat them with a rolled up newspaper. Only it's not as fun as the Chuck-E-Cheese version. You don't get tickets and you certainly don't get any sleep. March 16 Very Much NOT Pregnant Another day. I'm feeling a little more refreshed, but not so much that I would consider actually going anywhere and doing anything.
No, everyone, I am not pregnant. I wish I could say that I was, but I've seen a few too many negative home pregnancy test results this past week to convince me otherwise. I'm so disappointed. I can't really put my finger on why. It's not like I'm childless--I'm actually ahead of the game compared to everyone else I know! I tried to explain my feelings to Caleb, who I don't think can ever really understand why I get so upset when another month goes by. "Why? We'll keep trying. Don't worry." I don't think it helps to talk his ear off about this stuff when we're laying in bed and he's pretty much fast asleep in 5 seconds flat. We have such a Bert & Ernie relationship.
I think what really starts to get to me is knowing so many people that are knocked up or having their babies. What is THAT? I've lost track of just how many people I know who are in that "predicament."
2 of my friends are due with their babies the very same week in September, and my friend J shamed mothers all over the world Sunday by delivering her firstborn after a 2 hour labor...at 37 weeks along! Not only is that just phenomenal, she looked really good the entire 9 months, right up to the end. It's sickening. Just sickening. (If she reads this, I totally don't mean the sickening part...oh, who am I kidding. Yes I do.)
But I think what really upsets me is the possibility of not having any more. I've had a couple girlie surgeries the past few years, the most recent being done in November. It has royally screwed up my cycle. I did manage to have Mia after the very first one, so I know I shouldn't worry so much...but they say that the more you have, the harder it will be to get pregnant or carry a child. I go for my 4 month follow-up next week, and I'm so scared it will be the same thing all over again. I swear if that doctor recommends another surgery, I'm just going to tell her, "Look. The next time you are even remotely close to my crotch, a baby will be coming out. And that's just how it's going to be."
Even though we have 2 beautiful, wonderful little girls here with us already, I feel like I'm waiting for the rest to arrive...and when I say the rest, I mean only one or two. I just can't explain. I've heard so many people say "2 is my stopping point." or "We felt complete with 2." Is 2 everyone's magic number these days? I just don't feel like our family is "complete" with 2.
Maybe my obsession with having kids stems from being adopted. I LOVE having mini-me's, that look like me (at least a little), act like me or talk like me. I love that Cheyenne is artistic and at times a little shy. I love that she has the exact same sense of humor that I do. I love that Mia has muscular legs, curly hair and (I think) my chin. I want to see if the next one will have my green eyes. Selfish? Yeah. But that's not the only thing I think about when I think about my present and future children. I can honestly say that I have more to give. I can handle more than 2 kids. And Geez, I know Caleb ain't stoppin' 'til he gets a boy anyway. March 15 Pensacola!I loved this, partly because it's funny and partly because it gave me so many memories...I almost cried! I miss P'cola so much...you guys who have been there should appreciate it:
YOU MIGHT BE A TRUE PENSACOLIAN IF YOU... ~ Know that a Blue Angel is a pilot, not a heavenly being. ~ Don't even give a screaming roadside preacher a second glance. ~ Accept that you are the only people in the country that toss mullet AND eat them. ~ Know which bathroom to go into at McGuire's Irish Pub. ~ Know that when traveling on I-110 and you get static over the radio, the "Hot Doughnuts Now" light is on at Krispy Kreme. ~ Know these street names in order and know they are actually the same road: Saufley Field Road, Michigan Avenue, Beverly Parkway, Brent Lane, Bayou Boulevard, and Perry Avenue, and don't forget Mobile Highway, Cervantes Street, Scenic Highway, Highway 90. Added bonus if you can explain it to a visitor or tourist! ~ Eat fried mullet. ~ Cried when you learned that J's bakery was closing and you celebrated upon its reopening. ~ Think a graffiti covered bridge is actually a local landmark instead of a vandalized eyesore. ~ Kissed the moose. ~ Know the Oyster Bar is closed on Tuesdays. ~ Start most of your directions by saying "turn left at Jerry's Drive-In". ~ Must drive on at least three roads undergoing construction wherever you go. ~ Call a drive to Nine Mile Road a "road trip". ~ Still call a certain intersection "The Circle". ~ Still call the corner of Garden and Alcaniz "The Sheraton". ~ Believe everyone should pull over for funeral processions. ~ Know that when arriving in Gulf Breeze from the 3-Mile Bridge, you immediately do the posted 35-mph speed limit and honor that speed limit through Gulf Breeze proper. ~ Have gotten a speeding ticket in Gulf Breeze. ~ Go to the beach over the Navarre bridge instead of the Gulf Breeze bridge to save a buck in tolls. ~ Prefer county commission or school board meetings to WWF Smackdown because there's more action. ~ Subscribe to the News Journal only to keep up with the latest on the Escambia County School Board. ~ Explain to visitors that it is not the harbor they smell, but the Main Street sewage treatment plant. ~ Would never drive to the beach to the Blue Angels show, preferring to go by boat instead. ~ Arrange your social calendar around Blue Angels weekend. ~ Think the four seasons are "almost summer, summer, still summer and Christmas." ~ Know Roy Jones has a chicken house. ~ Call Scenic Highway "The Bluffs". ~ Moved back to Pensacola more than three times. You're a pro at enduring blazing heat and 98% humidity. ~ Know the correct pronunciation of Texar Drive and Reus Street. ~ Still call Perdido Beach "Gulf Beach". ~ Have waited in line for over an hour when a new chain restaurant comes to town. ~Have witnessed at least 5 cars running a red light at any given intersection. ~You own a generator and have a year's supply of water and gas stockpiled for next year's hurricane season. ~Continue to rebuild after every hurricane because why would you live anywhere else? March 14 One Heckuva Day Today I am a whirling dervish of CLEAN. Caleb's coming home tonight, and I am so psyched about finally getting some sleep (and maybe more!). So psyched, in fact, that I have been running around the entire house deep-cleaning everything. I don't know what's gotten into me.
I have even been so motivated as to...WASH THE DOGS. Yes. I know. It is not an easy task, and it takes up a good bit of my precious time, time that could be better spent watching Annie, or poop-scooping the backyard. But I did it. And for the moment, they are clean and soft, and maybe even...dare I say...Cuddly? Fine. Yes. Cuddly. I gave them a long-awaited and much needed snuzzle after they were good and dry. Guess they're not so bad after all.
My skyrocketing energy levels are a huge change from how I've been feeling here lately. I've been so tired and lazy, and I've pretty much kissed my diet and exercise program good-bye this past 1-2 weeks. I've already gained 4lbs back! WTF?!!! How depressing. Now I have to find some more inspiration and start all over. It worked for a while to write down my goals every morning and repeat them to myself throughout the day, but I'm so over that tactic now.
I put off the poodle-skirt shopping for tomorrow, so that Caleb can work in quiet, for the most part. He may have to check on the beasts every now and then, but that's no big deal. Saturday we have plans to go to the Omniplex, this humongous children's science museum in the city. Caleb has never been but Cheyenne and I just love it.
Thought about checking out the Curious George movie, but I'm not sure how we'll fit it in with Caleb's work schedule, and I know he wants to go...for the kids. Not because he is dying to see an animated trouble-making little Monkey and his friend, the man with the yellow hat. And what is this "Ted" business? The man DOES NOT have a name...it's not right. Though I guess if he had to have a name, Ted's at least fitting. Mia really enjoys the books. I've had them since I was little. She loves reading about "the bad little monkey" taking a baby bunny out of its cage and playing a game with it. We have to read that part over and over. So I think she'd sit through and be entertained by "the bad little movie monkey."
On another note, Cheyenne and I have been doing a lot of brainstorming and drawing, trying to come up with ideas for some more stories. She got pretty excited when I told her about the whole thing. I'm starting to get more and more excited myself--mostly about making money. I would get paid for this! Cool! I guess that means we could afford to live a little, huh? Kids, turn on the lamp.
March 13 Maybe... I'm so fcking tired right now it's not even funny. I'm 'bout to leave you all for sleep...tonight it should come easily. I was starting to conk out during an exciting game of UNO earlier this evening.
Just wanted to let everyone know that I appreciate all the nice comments on my blogs--thanks for egging me on.
I know I promised to change my song, but the truth is I haven't figured out how to upload the music from my computer to the internet...I know I can do it, but I haven't even had the energy or brain power to try. So you're all stuck for a while. Maybe you can shut off Aly&AJ and just whistle the tune to another song while you're here. I highly recommend Lynard Skynard, but you can sing the theme song to Titanic if you absolutely have to. I won't be listening.
Cheyenne and Caleb are going to a Father/Daughter sock hop. I gotta go hunt down a poodle skirt tomorrow--where we'll find one 6 months before Halloween, I don't know.
Hilarious thing happened tonight--Mia said the word "Maybe."
The funny part was that she said it while talking to her daddy on the phone, in response to his question of "Do you miss me?" Classic.
He wasn't amused. It Was a Dark, Stormy Night... What a night.
Again, I stayed up WAY late. This time, I didn't, I COULDN'T, fall asleep until 3:00 a.m.
It was especially dark outside since all the stars were covered with clouds, and everytime I walked out onto the back porch to let the dogs pee, I smelled smoke. Real smoke! I don't know where it was coming from. I saw no fire, heard no sirens, but I still paced back and forth for an hour wondering if I should start packing up important papers and toys to keep the kids entertained, just in case we had to go to a shelter while our house caught fire.
When I decided we weren't going to burn to the ground, I settled down to do some drawing. I ganked Cheyenne's colored pencils and about 20 sheets of Caleb's computer paper, and went nuts.
I was so busy that when the phone rang, I jumped about a mile. I couldn't hear much, but it sounded like a man on the other end of the line that either couldn't speak English, or was drunk and mumbling unintelligibly. Assuming it was an ax murderer, I hung up and started to cry. Then 2 seconds later the phone rings again. I pick it up like I was in the middle of a horror movie, shaking and crying..."...Hello?" It was Caleb, and it turned out the he had just tried to call and had gotten a bad signal. Geez.
We talked for a while, said good night, and I went back to drawing. I turned out a few good sketches, despite the fact that my hands were shaking uncontrollably.
Then the dogs started growling and barking at something (or someone) in the front yard. After a few minutes, they calmed down, but I was just done for. I got in bed, left the light on, and bawled myself to...well, I don't know what it was, but it wasn't sleep. It was more like an over-tired state of not-crying.
I cowered under the covers for a while and listened to the wind outside. It kept blowing things against the side of the house, rattling the windows...so spooky. I was a nervous wreck, and after hearing about all the tornados swirling about in the state above us, I pretty much thought it was my last night on earth.
But, here I am. The sun is shining, there's not a cloud in the sky, Cheyenne's on spring break, and Annie is blasting on the TV. Back to my perfect and not-at-all-scary world. Now if I can only get the sun not to set. I'll be good to go. |
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