Halloween was a hit at our house and that party at Mia's school I was so stressed out about is finally over. Sweet, sweet Lord. The kids ate about 5% of the food we brought, got globs of paint on everything but the stupid wooden pumpkins, glittered the entire room, and took all of 30 seconds to smear my fine cheek art all over their faces--but they had a good time. And I found out why it is that I never went into early childhood education: if I were a preschool teacher, I'd have a serious drinking problem--yes, even more serious than the one I have now. Juicy-Juice spiked with Bacardi? Don't mind if I do. Just after that party, I'm ready for a beer. Too bad it's not 1:30 yet.

 

Took some pictures of the kids and a few sights around town. Please don't anybody think I hate my oldest child; Cheyenne just can't stand to have her picture taken. Ever. I have to plot these massive sneak attacks to catch her on camera, and most of the time she foils my plans anyway.

 

Mia and I had a little falling out on the way back home. You see, we created this ritual a while back where we listen to instrumental music (today it was the soundtrack to "Braveheart") in the car. Mia tells me what "animal" the music "sounds" like--a deer is a low, slow flute song, a tiger is loud and scary--you get it. From there I take it one step further and make up a little story set to the music of the moment. And now I'll be damned if the kid doesn't ask me to tell some elaborate Shakespearian drama about animals and the bad men that hunt them every FREAKING TIME we get in the car. Today, after an hour of catering to the whims of preschoolers, I wasn't in the mood. The story telling set to random music requires me to really think on my toes, and truth be told I just didn't have the brain power for it. So I gently explained why I couldn't come up with anything, and Mia, with the piece of sun in her heart, says, "Oh, mommy. I know you can do it! I believe in you!" How do you say no to that? So I gave it my best shot, which, to Mia, must have seemed like I was really half-assing the story, and she wasn't having it. She had an absolute melt-down, one so extreme and so violent that I almost crashed the car into a tree (by accident or on purpose--take your pick). Nothing grates on the nerves like the steady shrieking of a 4-year-old who hasn't had her nap. I'm going to have to permanently hide the Braveheart CD.

 

Election day is getting close, and I'm panicking, but not really. I still haven't made up my mind--both men seem perfectly competent and likeable enough. I don't completely understand any of their ideas, and even if I did, I wonder how easy it's going to be for them to put said ideas into action. I must say I'm not extremely impressed with Sarah Palin--I just have trouble believing that she's ready to be vice-president, much less president, and let's face it: John McCain's no spring chicken. And look at how much being in the White House ages a person. After 4 years, the man will look like he's 112. Don't get me wrong--I like him. I do. That said, I love this site. Mia got a huge kick out of the hidden, lipsticked Pitt Bull.

 

Hope everyone has a good weekend. Happy Halloween!

I bet you all thought I wouldn't do it.

 

Then again, I know I've mentioned my tendency to burn food. (Ghetto biscotti, anyone?) After baking and bagging 93 rock-hard chocolate chip cookies the other day, I decided I'd better back them up with some stupid Rice Krispy Treats--store bought and lovingly placed in my own plastic wrap so as to give them that home-made touch. Hopefully that'll satisfy the band mothers. I'm interested to see if they can instinctively detect the fakes, but I'm not sticking around long after I drop them off.

 

We've been doing the pumpkin in stages. Caleb scalped it; a few hours later, I gutted it, and this afternoon we'll be hurriedly and half-assedly carving it. For some reason, our town is holding its official "trick-or-treat" tonight. My thought is that it would make way too much sense to do it on actual Halloween night, Friday night, when no one has school or work the next morning. No. That would be stupid. So we're going to have the kids all decked out and ready to go before 5:30 p.m.

 

I'm also doing a little last minute shopping for Mia's class party tomorrow; the other room-mother (God bless her--I love her enthusiasm) has gone totally ape with party preparations so I'm scrambling to keep up. Example: She bought 15 wooden pumpkin cut-outs for painting. She was 4 short; after checking every Michael's within a 50-mile radius of Oklahoma City, she considered buying a JIGSAW ($250) to complete the set. Call me a slacker, but FUCK THAT. I'd come up with some other lame craft involving construction paper and broken crayons.

 

These kids are going to be partying like rockstars tomorrow--it's insane. We've got cupcakes. Dirt and worms. Cookies. Fruit and dip. Veggies and dip. Mini-sandwiches. Cheese squares with toothpicks. Orange soda. Capri Sun. Party masks, treat bags. It's all a lot more than I had originally planned, but I'm kind of excited.

 

Pictures to follow tomorrow or this weekend. You all have a great Halloween!

 

If you didn't already know, "The Shield" on FX is the finest piece of television programming I've ever had the pleasure of watching. It is a delightful feast for the mind. And I can't even find the words to describe the glorious awesomeness of last night's episode. It's a good show, people.

 

 

But not real bad. Although I like to think of myself as a graceful ballerina, with the voice of a golden bird, I hurt my foot. While jumping up and down, from side to side, on my bed, for the entertainment of my son.

 

I have a huge gash (small blister) on the underside of my right foot. I can barely walk.

 

Other than that, I'm having a Jim-Dandy weekend.

 

It's raining and I'm sleepy. I'm not a slacker, it's just that I'm too busy and/or uninspired to write much right now and I forsee that being the case a week--2 weeks maybe--from now. I got nothin.

 

Except for this:

 

Cheyenne and I did indeed go see The City of Ember. It would've been fantastic had I not read the book first. Otherwise, it was pretty good. I really enjoyed the one-on-one time with Cheyenne. It's not something we do often but I'd like to make it a monthly habit. She's so intelligent for her age and she's so full of ideas and she can be really funny--when I get her alone and if I can get her talking. It's not as easy for her to talk to me as it is for her to talk to, say, a friend, or a grandma, or an aunt or an uncle, or A COMPLETE STRANGER. I think the whole "Parents are so lame" school of thought is really working against me. How long til she grows out of that?

 

And it's not just my kid. Last night Cheyenne had a choir concert at the Middle School cafeteria, which, by the way, she so totally rocked at. The place was swarming with teenagers, and I wanted to take and shake each and every one of them. Is it just me or is everyone between the ages of 13 and 18 totally obnoxious and absolutely moronic? Teenagers aren't supposed to drive me crazy--I'm supposed to fit right in! I'm supposed to be the cool young mom, damnit!  What up? Am I even allowed to say things like "what up?" anymore?

 

And so it begins...

 

I have reason to believe that the movie "The City of Ember" is out in theaters today; yet I've seen no commercials indicating so much. What up?

 

Merrick's stitches are out. It went surprisingly easy and we were out of there in 30 minutes tops. I could've washed his hair last night but I decided to wait one more day, just to be on the safe side. His cold is pretty much gone and we haven't used the humidifier in 2 nights, which is probably good since I'm pretty sure that his room (the closet) is going to be full of mold and mildew after steaming it up every night for the past week.

 

Mia stayed home from school today with this crazy emphysema (emphasyma?) cough. They're going to kick her out of Pre-K for missing so many days. Her soccer coach cancelled practice last night because of football, and she will also be missing Saturday's game because of football. Why did she volunteer to coach in the first place? That's a damn good question.

 

Cheyenne is working on coming up with a new volunteer project--this time her motivation is to rack up some community service hours for National Junior Honor society. On the short list so far is visiting old people, buying presents for poor kids, and picking up trash. I'd really like to see her organize some sort of recycling program at her school since she's so ate-up with saving the planet lately. But she's not sure how to go about that and, frankly, I have no fucking clue either. So for now she's still tossing around ideas.

 

Caleb is loving his job. Apparently things are pretty casual around there. He goes to the office in jeans and jacks around for 5 hours before calling it a day.

 

As predicted, I did finally bust hard on the whole perfect housewife thing--Wednesday night we ate chicken nuggets and pizza rolls, thus securing Rock-star status among my children. Caleb cooked last night, but in my defense I was really tired from cleaning my shower--which would have been considered a noble effort had it not been 2 entire months since I last scrubbed it down.

 

So there's the last 2 days of my life. We're going to have great weather over the weekend so maybe I can talk Caleb into Turner Falls or something. And if that's too ambitious for him, there's always "The City of Ember." Or is there?

 

I don't know at what point in time my mood switched from bad to good, but I'm thankful for it because I was just about to lose my mind. All is right with the world today.

 

The sky is blue and the air is cool.

 

Last night I got 6 hours of good sleep.

 

Caleb cooked dinner and breakfast.

 

He starts his new job at Staples tomorrow and we'll finally have money coming in.

 

I've lost 3 pounds.

 

Merrick is back to being my happy, easy-going little baby.

 

Cheyenne is excited about the MS Walk today. She made it all the way up to $800.00 with the help of the good people we know and love, and the good people we haven't seen in a while, and the good people we've never even met.

 

The kids want to make their own costumes this year from dress-up clothes we already have rather than going out and spending $30 a pop on semi-slutty cheaply-made outfits.

 

And Alvin and The Chipmunks is on TV.

 

 

It occured to me that my kid bears an uncanny resemblance to Vic Mackey.

 

Oh yeah.

 

Nevermind just recovering from having his head hacked into; that was sooooo 7 days ago. Right now, Merrick's battling an ear infection, a wicked bad runny nose, and a nasty cough. Plus, he's teething. He hasn't gone two waking minutes without screaming--and he hasn't slept unless he's safe in our arms, which has lead to some seriously sleepless nights (and days) for me and Caleb.

 

Caleb has that freak fever Mia got a week ago. He's been running between 101 and 103 all day long. What the hell?

 

Our house is so messy that professionals need to be called, lest our kids get taken away from us. We've eaten left-over pasta and PBJ sandwiches until we're blue in the face. And we're all getting on each other's last nerve.

 

My favorite movie is "Signs". What's not to love? A man struggling with his faith, 2 kids who are too smart for their own good, aliens in a corn field, and Joaquin Phoenix. I bet none of the people in that movie could see the light at the end of that tunnel--but God had a plan for them. Twisted as it was, God had a plan.